My first reaction to this photo was disgust. Then humiliation. Shame. Rage. Sadness. I thought about all the ways I could have looked better. Not allowing all my fat to shift to the left. Adjusting my tits so they’re closer and my shy nipples are visible. Arching my back. Hiding my arm fat. Molding my body into a better visual.
I know this will be reblogged by people who find me repulsive. I know this will be reblogged by people searching for thinspiration. I know I’ll be laughed at and judged and mocked.
I remember, a few years back, when I was braver about my body. When I posted pictures of myself in my underwear even though I knew half the internet was going to rip me to shreds. But I did it anyway. Smirking and shrugging and saying hi to Something Awful in the photos.
This past year I’ve had guys be interested in me and then decide I was just TOO fat. And none of them bothered to use any kindness in telling me so. I’ve slowly curled inwards. Back to yanking down my sleeves and wishing I were different.
This is a new year. I’m going to love myself and accept my body, no matter how much it changes and shifts as it tries to find its home.
I saved this picture. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because it’s the only self-taken photo in which I’m not trying. Not trying to look better. Not trying to hide anything. It’s raw and vulnerable.
And it’s me.
ETA: I looked at this photo so many times while debating posting it that it no longer strikes me as disgusting or shameful. It’s just my body. Nothing more and nothing less. I need to take more pictures of myself so I can increase this feeling of non-judgment. (Well hello there, normalization! It’s been awhile since I remembered why you’re so important!)
Look at this fucking goddess, I only hope to be half the BAMF she is someday. So much love!!!
I love this. To the OP: I hope you do love yourself more and more this year because you are beautiful and worthy of love and saying “fuck you” to anyone who doesn’t appreciate every bit of you.
But also, I really like the comments about normalization, and also the idea that when taking a picture you don’t have to live up to some fictional aesthetic ideal to just be YOU. I think that’s so so so important.
My favourite outfit recently, but it was for someone else’s blog, not mine!
what i wore for christmas eve!
bow top: forever 21+
skirt: made it myself
belt: old navy
tights: we love colors
necklace: belonged to my grandma
Staying with my family for the holidays, which means fat negativity all around, so its semi-annual size positivity sketch time
which would be more than semi-annual if not for everything else I should be working on.
Filipino-Chicano Transgender man in sailor hat, short navy blue shorts, navy blue and white striped tank top holds a sign that says, “Now that I can’t plan my wedding I guess I’ll just destroy the prison industrial complex.”
Shirt-Saddlebred, from Belk
Bow tie-Saddlebred,from Belk
26 yrs old + Size 16 + From Sydney Australia
All bodies are beautiful, I only wish it didn’t take me this many years to realise that fact. Follow your dreams no matter what you look like. Don’t wait.
Submitted by MissVeeAU
I love this picture. It was taken by the photographer that I always hire. : )