So I was super excited when I saw that Tess Munster had styled an editorial and been interviewed by SWAK, not just because she’s super present on Tumblr, but also because I’ve loved her style in lots of other shoots, primarily for Domino Dollhouse. She’s a model in the larger ranges, rather than the 10s and 12s that are more commonly seen, and that’s cool to have out there.

However, I was seriously disappointed when I read the article. First of all, the headline — advertising her “big ‘n sassy personality” — smacked a little bit of the ‘sassy’ stereotype that fat women are far too often subjected to. We take up space! That means we’re loud and opinionated! If negative, bitches: if positive, sassy friend, which graduates into no-nonsense maternal types. (This is even MORE prevalent as a stereotype among women of color.) But I handwaved and kept reading.

Although on the first page she espouses living a “happy, full and fashionable life” whether you are a “size 22, or larger”, once she starts describing the styles, this positivity fades into something really problematic. The first dress has a lot of positive traits - however Munster moves right into “it fits snug around my waist to hide my stomach - which isn’t flat and I like to camouflage.”

YOU MEAN A SIZE 22 DOESN’T HAVE A FLAT STOMACH? HEAVEN FORBID!

Also, if a reasonably well known plus size model has to “camouflage” her stomach to be beautiful - what the hell is this article suggesting that we NON model types are supposed to do?

If it were just one outfit, as well, it would be one thing, but several times in the copy mentions are made of “hiding midsection” (as well as “creating curves” and “elongating”). The overall impression is that only an hourglass shape is appropriate or beautiful, shortness is bad and nothing but a flat stomach will do. 

And while I see how a plus size clothes company might write this kind of copy themselves, not realizing that a good handful of their customers are working on loving themselves the way they are, the fact is that most people are smart enough to know that an “A-line” or a “flowy fabric” will hide or enhance their curves - if they want to - but this article tells you that’s what you should be doing.

Sorry, Tess, but this is NOT body positivity. This is subscribing to the same old body standard - just several sizes up. Not only that, but it could be triggering for those trying to accept their body proportions. I’m disappointed in her, and I’m disappointed in SWAK for publishing it.

The email sendout that Lane Bryant just did about their new T3 Jeans really annoyed me. “Trim Your Tummy and Your Budget With T3 Jeans And Real Woman Dollars”?

Now, I appreciate gapless waistbands. I don’t love control panels because “controlling” my chub is just not where I’m at right now, but I know many people prefer them (if I do use control top stuff, it’s in things like tights where I want a smooth line under other layers; jeans, not so much). The idea of restricting, covering up, pushing it in, sucking it up, is just not my thing. Especially now that I live in an apartment with a mirror across from the bed and am getting used to seeing myself in a tank top and underwear. No hiding it: I am me and I have rolls!

But, even for those who ARE into control - aren’t we getting enough “trim your tummy” messages? Even if someone IS insecure, or just pleased aesthetically by a lack of bump, what T3 Jeans are doing is flattening out your stomach, not making you lose weight by wearing them. And sorry, but the last thing I want is my plus size store telling me I’m not good enough …so I should buy their shit.

I feel like writing a strongly worded letter but 1)over an email? and 2)I don’t know exactly what to say.

glamaphonic:

So today Hunger Games fandom on Tumblr spent enough time explaining how handsome & dashing was antithetical to black guy with an afro that I had to go take a walk before I completely flipped out on somebody.

Then I come back only to find Tumblr now explaining how Mercedes on Glee could never get it with Sam on Glee because ~*~SOMEONE LIKE HER~*~ could never land ~*~SOMEONE LIKE HIM~*~ in real life.

So, now, you get to see me flip out anyway.

I’m going to ignore the basic empirical inaccuracy of that statement because as “someone like her” who knows many other “someone[s] like her” I really don’t have the patience to calmly explain to you the SHOCKING and UNHEARD OF fact that we do, in fact, receive romantic/sexual attention. (YES! I know. TV never explained that to you because we were too busy being sassy and focusing on our careers/families, but I assure you it is true. And some of this attention, okay, are you sitting down? Get this: it is, in fact, from “someone[s] like him.”)

Instead, I’m going to explain something else, and normally I would go YMMV and leave it there. But I’mma lay this down anyway because even in defenses and call out posts I keep seeing people assuming some things are objective truth when they most certainly are not.

This:

This right here?^

This is a 100% unexceptional, could not be bothered to turn your head and look at him on the street, bland as fuck, blond, white boy completely indistinguishable from 9000 other bland, blond white boys in Hollywood who look just like him because that’s what’s IN at any given time, and there are few things in the entire world, I feel, more illustrative of what media trains us to value than the facts that: 

1) there are people legitimately seriously arguing that Amber Riley is somehow aesthetically unworthy of the physical perfection that is completely forgettable human simulacrum “Chord” “Overstreet” 

AND 

2) even in a large portion of arguments against the idea of this as an unrealistic relationship people are discussing the Sam character’s ability to look past the physical as a rationalization for how it would happen

are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit

Actually, forget I asked that because I know you’re not.

So, I’m going to say it slow and mostly with small words in case someone is missing what I’m getting at:

The only reason that people think that Mercedes could not “realistically” hook up with Sam

is because

she is black and fat

and he is white.

Not even white and attractive…

BUT white and exactly inoffensive enough for society’s deeply racist (sexist, ageist, etc.) standards to thus default him, as a young white man, into “objectively” hot — to make him the ideal. While Mercedes as a girl, both fat and black, is automatically held as a body of little to no worth or appeal.

This is all BULLSHIT. It is not objective. It is not fair. It is not a reflection of the real world. It is not just to be understood that, based purely on physical appearance, a guy who looks like him would not be interested in a girl who looks like her. It is nothing but racist, colonial, horrible, disgusting, offensive standards of worth and beauty and attractiveness being SPEWED everywhere by people who either don’t realize or don’t care how WARPED what they are saying is.

And this is not me telling you that you are not allowed to find Sam or the actor who portrays him attractive. If you’re into that, whatever, I really don’t give a fuck.

This is me telling you that if you think of him and Amber Riley and this somehow seems WILDLY UNREALISTIC because he is just too attractive to possibly want her (AND LORD KNOWS THERE IS NO REASON TO QUESTION WHETHER SHE WOULD WANT HIM AMIRITE?)… just sit the fuck down now because you’re ignorant and you’re wrong and no one wants to hear what you have to say until you stop polluting the world with the racist, sizeist garbage that is falling out of your brain.

The only thing I want to add to this (besides my outrage) is that while I don’t find Sam attractive, I think that it doesn’t matter if we agree or don’t agree on Sam’s blandness. Even if Chord Overstreet is like, the next Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp (or Andrew Garfield!) or whoever everyone is salivating over — even if he had girls THROWING themselves at him, he could and should think that Mercedes was the most beautiful girl in the world and that she had the most stunning badass personality and best voice. He might very well pursue her over anyone else in the world, and, presuming she also wanted him, they could have a great relationship.

I do think that there is a lot of sizist, racist bullshit going on here, however. I think regardless of WHO is talking they’re simply placing his relative beauty, no matter how high they think that ranks, above hers. Which is ridiculous because she’s goddamn beautiful.

(I see the same sort of arguments about Lauren and Puck occasionally, but not as strongly probably, since there’s less intersectionality to Lauren. I am lucky enough to actually not have seen anti-Samcedes shit yet. Actually, most of what I’ve seen was the internet LOBBYING for Samcedes, so much so that when it happened I yelled “TUMBLR MADE THIS REAL!” But you know, we can never appreciate things unless we can’t have them.)

I also feel like this argument has a lot of self-internalized hatred going on along with its racist, sizist crap. Stop putting your selfhatred on other people. Stop BELIEVING bigger girls, or black girls, or whoever, can’t be with…whoever they want! Stop demanding that media feed you perfectly thin blonde cheerleader-jock couples EVEN ON A SHOW ABOUT OUTCASTS because you’ve been told that you are not good enough to be one of them.

Own up to your privilege, and to the biases you are living, and SHUT THE HELL UP.

(This reminds me so much of all the tabloid fodder about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mistresses and how they’re not as “attractive” as Maria Shriver. There was an article on Jezebel.com, I believe, about how that nearly always happens to women in the media who someone famous has an affair with. I feel terrible for Ms. Shriver, but seriously? Someone can be attracted to someone regardless of age, appearance versus conventional stereotypes, weight, race, number of tattoos, whatever. THAT’S the part you find appalling?)